ExpandingLove.com

 

While we have no judgement on other lifestyle movements and participate in some of them, we have found that what we prefer above all is to be free to honor what is and fully express the true nature of each of our relationships, whether sexual or not!


Some may think that polyamory is just an excuse for free love and sexual promiscuity, but this is not the case.  Polyamory is more about developing heart connected relationships that may or may not include consenting sexual expression, if it feels appropriate to the relationship.  Just like in dating and other relationships, some last and some do not, but the intention is clear that the basis of these connections is to create relationships of value, sustainability, and mutual caring.


Because we view the Poly lifestyle as a social experiment, there are no rules, but we align with this paradigm and take on this label from our desire to have openness, honesty and integrity in our relationships.  There are many who have paved the way and offer what they have learned seems to work best in various situations as we muddle through, but ultimately, you get to figure out what works best for you and write your own script for your best version of poly -- then you invite others of like mind to join with you -- then you get to discover more... and more... and more of what works/and doesn’t as you grow.


Therefore, instead of just following the traditions we have been taught, we are stepping into adult consciousness with self-responsible inquiry, a desire for greater depth, examination and evaluation of what is relevant for our current lifestyle needs and desires. 


We do not recommend that anyone attempt this lifestyle unless you truly feel that it is what you want.  Poly is not for the faint of heart.  Polyamory will challenge everything you have been taught about relationships. 



Expanding your relationship style creates

* more complexity

  1. *expansion of the heart

  2. *sensitivity

  3. *an upheaval in previous traditional programming

  4. *a life script re-write



stronger skills in the arts of


  1. *communication,

  2. *listening,

  3. *self-awareness, and

  4. *self-responsibility

  5. *conscious management of time, emotions and energy

  6. *sensitivity on every level



This style of relationship requires that you evolve into a more expanded view and it will take you out of the hypnosis of our agreed upon traditions and paradigms.  If you are afraid to rock your own boat or speak or live your truth, then this is not for you.


If you are interested in learning more, there is a lot of information available on the web and you will find links in this site to explore.  For you newbies, please take a look at my Ebook, “Polyamory 101” (above) to give you a basic idea.

If you are curious about polyamory (the exploration of how we can expand the depth and quality of love in all our relationships, honoring whatever extent is perfect for each relationship), then explore with us.  Here we offer you a place to research, inquire, share and discover whether polyamory is a path for you.


Polyamory is a social movement of people who feel uncomfortably limited in the monogamous paradigm, and who are interested in divining and expanding the art of loving relationships. 


Let’s face it... there are some for whom traditional monogamy is a great fit and works fine.  There are others that no matter how hard they try -- like the proverbial square peg in a round hole, they just can’t fit.  The good news is that if you are one of those for whom monogamy just doesn’t feel natural, there are alternatives with many people trying different things to see what does work. 

Although society seems to feel that monogamy is the primal and best lifestyle for healthy families, the facts just do not support this position.  Marriage began as an economic arrangement where fidelity was only meant to control women’s sexuality to ensure the proper “heirs” to the family holdings. Ideal romantic love stepped in around the 16th century and this chemistry which mimics infantile bonding became an expected element to marital harmony.  Thus the ecomonic basis of control and ownership of another’s sexual expression coupled with unrealistic romantic ideals of perfect bonding, promulgated further control issues attempting rather unsuccessfully to control men’s sexual fidelity as well.  Dishonesty with regard to men’s sexual liaisons outside of “wedlock” has been begrudgingly an accepted  norm, and the high percentage of such activities are common knowledge. Unfortunately, as a result, when the lie is discovered, the opposing ideal of trust is broken, often damaging an otherwise good relationship beyond repair.  And, as birth control and economic equality is rising, it is changing the structure of relationship and sexual expression .  This mismatched foundation based on ideal romantic love and economic motivations, are outmoded and neither are sufficient in modern society to sustain our increasing need for more honesty, integrity and realistic solutions.


Polyamory is an alternative that appeals to those who have the capacity to love more than one person at a time, and who value transparency, honesty and integrity in relationship. We already have realized that this is possible with multiple relatives and friends, so why not with lovers as well?

What is Polyamory?

Book:               Polyamory 101
A Beginner’s Guide

               By

$5.99          Shama, CHt, CDC, TDE